I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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