Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
