just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
