Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
