It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize