Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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