he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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