look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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