he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
