So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
