just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The best revenge is premature balding
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
