so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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