in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
