chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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