He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
