I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
