Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I will be naked everywhere
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
