i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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