Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
