WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
