you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
