i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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