He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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