I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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