sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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