you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
