That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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