I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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