I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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