I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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