This is not my ceiling
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
