u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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