you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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