My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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