all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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