the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
