Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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