just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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