Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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