After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
