2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
