Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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