I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
