he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm at about main and main street
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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