he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
