I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
