This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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