I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
