I smell stomach acid.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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