Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
