He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
