is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
third nipple confirmed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
