It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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