He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
