shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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