One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize