my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i believe in u and ur pee
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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