Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
