He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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