well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize