yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
