Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize