Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just cropdusted the office
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
