My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
